in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize