Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
