dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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