I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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