Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize