i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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