she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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