i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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