and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
