When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
