I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize