To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
