nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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