We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
