he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
