haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
