one two three fourrrrnication!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
