guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
