she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I am available for nakedness
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
