lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
