Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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