She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
