i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
