Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
