White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
