JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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