This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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