I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
