Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
