why didn't you poke me back
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my poor anus
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
