and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
