My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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