I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
