she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They have beer where we have blood.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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