it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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