im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oh god it's open bar.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
