then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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