I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
