At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
