i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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