im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
