Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
