well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
