I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
