she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
