I think i peed on brittanys purse
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize