yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
