i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm passing your future prison.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
