I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
