Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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