I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she told me i tasted like america
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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