I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
