She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
