Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize