I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
