Your face is a jimmy john
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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