His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
