Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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