okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She even gives head with a lisp.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
