it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i have herpe
just one?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
