I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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