I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
