Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
