dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
