My friends, they love my intelligence
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
