I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
