everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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